Post by flhuntress on Jan 25, 2004 15:37:00 GMT -5
Q . What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A . Shoot him again.
Q . How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A . When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q . Why do little boys whine?
A . Because they're practicing to be men.
Q . How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A . One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q . What do you call a handcuffed man?
A . Trustworthy.
Q . What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A . You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q . Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A . Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A . To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q : Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A : Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q : What is the difference between men and women...
A : A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q : How does a man keep his youth?
A : By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q : How do you keep your husband from reading your e -mail?
A : Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
A . Shoot him again.
Q . How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A . When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q . Why do little boys whine?
A . Because they're practicing to be men.
Q . How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A . One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q . What do you call a handcuffed man?
A . Trustworthy.
Q . What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A . You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q . Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A . Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A . To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q : Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A : Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q : What is the difference between men and women...
A : A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q : How does a man keep his youth?
A : By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q : How do you keep your husband from reading your e -mail?
A : Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
