Post by flhuntress on Jan 14, 2004 11:47:56 GMT -5
You might be a member of a redneck church if:
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for purchase of a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or cat fish, and what bait was used to catch em.
> > >
The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering."
Then five guys and two women stand up.
> > >
A member of the Church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
> > >
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
> > >
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
> > >
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
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People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
> > >
The baptistery is a #2 galvanized washtub.
> > >
The choir robes were donated by, and embroidered with the logo from, "Billy Bob's Barbecue."
> > >
The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 chevy.
> > >
The steeple doubles as the community deer stand.
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for purchase of a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or cat fish, and what bait was used to catch em.
> > >
The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering."
Then five guys and two women stand up.
> > >
A member of the Church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
> > >
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
> > >
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
> > >
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
> > >
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
> > >
The baptistery is a #2 galvanized washtub.
> > >
The choir robes were donated by, and embroidered with the logo from, "Billy Bob's Barbecue."
> > >
The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 chevy.
> > >
The steeple doubles as the community deer stand.
